Finding My Inner Self (Goodbye 2007/Hello 2008)

Sigh*

Most of my life I had been searching for an identity. Moving various times had impeded this process, for each time I moved, I had to start all over with my character. This led me to be a bit reclusive. My parents had wanted me to go into the medical field, but I felt like I was put on this Earth for a different purpose. It wasn't until recently that I had felt that I had really found myself. On the Compliment Sheet we did in AP US, Neil said that I was a dreamer/creator who would "defy common sense to pursue his own dreams." Someone who had total control over the endless possibilities of imagination. It was this realization that had fueled and inspired my interest in creating media.

I think that this year I was able to take my first major step towards where I want to be in 20 years or so. It was probably History Day that started it all. Natalie had given me Adobe Premier 2.0 to install on my computer. Of course, I didn't touch it until a week or so before history day. But when I started playing around with it, I was immersed. I tinkered with sound and motion for hours at a time. And then I realized that this was such a powerful tool. Books allow people to visualize stories in their minds. But movies...no, the creator of movies, visualizes for you. The audience gets to experience the thoughts and aesthetics of what the creator wants to convey. And so my first project told the story of Munich. My work payed off; we moved to the state level but could not advance to nationals. This failure, while crushing at first, only inspired me to do better.

And of course, how could I forget music? I have to say, the musical environment at school is one that I had never experienced before. Everyone around me is an inspiration; they share the same passion as I do, the same will to succeed. People like Brian, Ella, and Cecilia are a sight to behold when they perform. It was a privilege to be in their presence. 10 years of violining was cool, but I needed something to contrast that to keep me on my toes. So I taught myself guitar. It's been 6 months since I picked up my Fender, and I think I made a good amount of progress.

Towards the end of 07, I felt like I was really fortunate to be here. My mother had told me countless times that we weren't supposed to stay in America. I was a year old when I first met my dad in '92. We were supposed to head back to Bangladesh, but we decided to stay. Things would have been different. I probably wouldn't be listening to Fall Out Boy, or making movies about Russia. I wouldn't have had such a fine group of friends.

I see people like Bono and Al Gore giving back to the world, but I wasn't entirely inspired until I found out that Ankit had been doing charitable stuff. He was someone like me, just an ordinary kid. But he was doing something extraordinary for the world. I wanted to make a difference too. I donated a substantial amount to displaced children in Uganda as well as Cyclone victims in Bangladesh. It was a great feeling to give the world a hand.

Sometimes I dream of flying to new heights, overcoming any obstacle that comes in my way, freeing myself of anything that holds me back. 07 allowed me to take the few few strides on the long pathway of life. The years that follow can only take me farther down this road. Getting there will be a struggle, but it'll be worth it in the end.

To all my friends, I wish you all the best. Let the good times roll.

Happy New Year.